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dealing with difficult people |
Tower Power Lunch: Don't Label People 5(0 votes) The November Tower Power Lunch addressed how to deal with dificult people..
Over 20 people attended to hear from presenter Anneke Groet of Executive Coaching and Training who spoke on the subject "Dealing with Difficult People - How to handle conflict at work". The presentation was primarily aimed at managers in an office environment.
Welcomed by John Frank of Tower Training, she said to the attendees that she hoped that they would be open and would try to see themselves in some of the situations used in the examples during the presentation. She explained that, in this international environment in which we live and work, cultural differences can sometimes be a cause of conflict.
Sometimes we look at some people only from one perspective, and suggested that we should look at them from a different perspective, and to approach them by paying them a compliment. Quite often "difficult" people, when paid a compliment and are praised for some aspect of their work, respond positively and their work improves.
One type of "difficult" people have very sensitive personalities. In particular, such people should not be criticised or contradicted in front of others. If required, bring them to one side and talk to them privately, being objective and specific. Just their work, not their personality, should be criticised.
Those that complain all the time can sometime make a significant point, so they should not be discounted all the time. Some of their "moans" may, in fact, be crucial, and should be respected. On the other hand, they may waste time in long discussions, and should sometimes be taken to one side and the issue addressed. However, as they are normally very specific, you should focus on solutions rather than criticising the way they are doing their work.
Some people may object to doing a task if it is not in their job description. In some cases they may be correct, but not necessarily in all cases. It pays then for managers to know what is in their employment contracts.
"Know-alls" rarely admit that they may have made a mistake and will not ask for help to carry out a task. In order for managers to ensure that problems do not happen, it is necessary to check their work periodically.
In the case of manipulators who are often the source of company gossip, and can even blackmail, it is crucial to understand what they are trying to achieve and ask them about it. It is crucial that they you gain their trust and that they know that they can talk to you confidentially.
You cannot change difficult people, but you can work around, or with, them.
It is important to work on what your organisation wants to achieve, rather than concentrating on the problems. All people, including difficult people, need to get on with their work and too much time can be lost by arguing. Criticism should be handled face-to-face by inviting the people to come to you. Written criticism should be avoided. What should be written down are the specific points during the discussion, in order for you to understand the points raised and to be able to define solutions. You should try to "step into the shoes" of the other person, to try to see the issue(s) from their perspective, and write down beforehand what you think that their issues may be. The meeting will not be easy as it will include specific criticism of their work, as well as praising the good points of their work, yet it should still result in goals set beforehand. The outcome should then be a plan of what can be changed, and how, e.g. ways of improvement. They themselves may have their own ideas of what could be improved, and such dialogue should be encouraged rather than you dictating what must be done.
Difficult people should take responsibility for their actions themselves. You cannot change them, they must be able to change themselves, with encouragement and direction from you.
Listening is the most important aspect of discussion, more so than what we say, and is achieved with your eyes as well as with your ears. Words make up just 7% of what we take in, with body language making up 55% and tone of voice at 38%.
Anneke Groet also covered the issue of body language in some details and advised that managers should try to ensure that the difficult person to whom you are talking, is relaxed and comfortable.
She then took a number questions from those attending and engaged in an interesting discussion on a number of issues raised.
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Who are the difficult people in your life? How do you decide they are "difficult"? Is it about personalities or business? No matter how you answer these questions, all of us have to work with difficult people from time to time. People are the most important rsource in any organisation and the ability to communicate at a high level is critical for career success. With the right strategies you can learn to deal with difficult colleagues effectively and even gain benefits from a conflict situation. In this seminar we will discuss how to prevent and control conflict, how to deal with the emotions involved and how to seek an elegant solution. As always, your own contribution to the discussion is very welcome, so bring your colleagues and friends! On 10 November Anneke will be presenting a course on Dealing with Difficult people, in co-operation with Tower Consultants. Location: NH Hotel (formerly Sheraton), Findel Time 12.00-14.00 To save time, we request that you pay in advance to DEXIA-BIL LU810 0241844 2207 1300 (Power Lunch, 18 November 2010) For more information, please contact Tower Training, +352 26270539 or Anneke.,+ 352 621 379340 |
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On 10 and 11 November Anneke will be teaching a Time Management Course at SDWorx. Learn how to organise yourself, to streamline your e-mail, to deal with interruptions, to effectively use Outlook as a Time Management tool and to conduct meetings efficiently. To register and for more information go to |
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